Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Update from Hell

I ran to Venice this morning to let in the counter people and while I was gone GG called me and threatened to kill the dogs who were still at the house and me if I set foot on the property. I called 911 and two officers met me. He would not let them in despite long negotiations or hand over the puppies. A supervisor/negotiator was called in and finally got them out safely. The first two policeman were horrible - blamed me for being there and laughed at me for being upset and said dogs are belongings like chairs.

The movers are arriving tomorrow and he said he will not let them in and the police are not being of assistance. Threatening my life and my dogs and holding them hostage for hours and not giving me my belongings is a civil matter according the the officers. He also changed the locks to prevent me from getting my things which is illegal. Wow. And I have no furniture or linens or even underwear and am sleeping on the floor with the pups - slumber party. But we are safe and alive.

48 comments:

  1. So threatening your life is a civil matter? That's just crazy. Nevermind the other things, that threat alone should be enough to arrest him and take him away. What if he harms you? Don't they have any sense of responsibility after a threat like that? Must have been a miserable day, I'm sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.

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  2. Good Lord, I didn’t think it would come to that.
    Will the police show up tomorrow for the move?
    A friend at least as a witness?
    Do you have any decent mutual friends you can call to arbitrate?

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  3. Thank goodness you and your dogs are safe. In the end, that is what really matters. I'm so so sorry you are going through this. Do you have a plan for tommorrow, it doesn't sound like you are going to be able to access the house. How many things do you have left there to move? Sending good thoughts for your safety above all. Please keep your readers up to date - so many of us are SO WORRIED about you.

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  4. Thinking about you all day. Prayers and thoughts for you..... does GG have older children? Maybe a friend or family could contact him. It seem like a break from reality. This is a very dangerous time and you need to careful. I would still contact the Police tomorrow if he response the same way.
    So close and yet so far....try to rest tonight and know we are with you in spirt.

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  5. Thank goodness you and the dogs are safe... so sorry you are going through this, so sad to see you treated this way... Stay strong!

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  6. Amazing as it may seem and even though they are living beings, dogs are considered property. We have had issues with neighbors and police can do nothing.
    At least you are safe and you have your babies. Everything else can be replaced. Think of it as having gone thru a hurricane and you made it out alive. You may need to replace almost everything, but you made it out alive.
    Hopefully he does not have your new address? Get that restraining order ASAP. Maybe even call a battered women shelter to see if they have recommendations on lawyers? Maybe they have other resources for you as well. Your realtor might also have resources or know people who might have them?
    Praying for your safety.

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  7. Since when are threatening your life And those of your pups civil matters? The police clearly have a pro-male bias and certainly do not have the benefit of a legal education. It may take a court order to get your furniture out of there. Given your blog posts of your wonderful Alexandria home, you can certainly prove that these pieces belong to you. GG is more than a hot mess; he’s a psychopath. Call a domestic relations lawyer ASAP. Many have hotlines and I consider this serious domestic violence. You should seriously consider obtainI got an order of protection. If your community in Sarasota has its own security officers, get them involved. I am sure that they have relationships with the police as would the president of the condo association. Thank goodness you are safe and our fears for you were not exaggerated. . Also-moving men tend to be large individuals and perhaps they will intimidate GG. He should have been arrested for harassment and assault. You deserve far better in life. We are all praying for you; please keep us updated.

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    1. Once again, I second Legal Lioness. You need a strong Florida domestic relations lawyer. NOW! An experienced, fought in the trenches, is miles—eons—away from the seemingly sanitized corporate world. You need someone who knows the truly dark side of human nature and can help you fight the good ole' boy stand your ground Florida. In your current sleep deprived, food deprived, anguish you are hardly in the state of mind to be your own attorney—and we know what comes next after that kind of statement about lawyers representing themselves! Agree again, that through your blog you can prove your ownership of furniture you seek to remove (to speak nothing of your underwear!).Covid-19 is an unfortunate haze that makes everything more difficult, including the presence of your family and friends. Keep your eyes on the prize: you are safe; you are free.

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    2. I third this advice. This is beyond what positive energy and human endurance can handle. This is not basic a-hole behavior. This is serious. There are lawyers in that market who specialize in DV. Call one ASAP please. Moving your stuff isn’t more important than this. And I hope and trust you are seriously considering filing a report about these two cops who laughed at you when your life is being threatened.

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  8. Precious lamb, you DID it! You MADE it! I could pester you with a thousand questions, trying to parse this from that, but that's not what you need at this hour. You have navigated this horrendous countdown with great strength, you made it across the finish line, one day early! A friend's Instagram had this quotation today: "Sometimes we are only someone else's collateral damage in their war against themselves." With great affection and admiration, you Fan in North Florida.

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  9. Dear Beth, You may already know but the most dangerous time with individuals like GG is when the woman tries to leave. Sorry to be a downer. PLEASE, at the very least, do not go into any situation with him alone. Again, sorry, but I don't want anything bad to happen to you!

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    1. I second that. A good friend's granddaughter was murdered by her boyfriend when she tried to leave. As he was the son of High Court judges, she got no justice and it was decided that it was suicide. His next girlfriend also died when she tried to leave him, and again, suicide!! Your possessions are replaceable but you are not. Never be alone with him again.

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  10. That sounds scary. Im sorry you had to go through that.. If you ever wavered on your decision to cut ties, now you know without a doubt that it was the right decision.

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  11. Stay safe - first and foremost. All else will follow.

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  12. Stay on the path. Write three things down every day that you are thankful for having or being in your life. Your wardrobe is happy beautiful, your aesthetic is happy beautiful. Stay away from darkness and please focus on your happy beautiful authentic self.

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  13. Still praying for you! So glad to hear that you and the pups are safe! Keep your head up, this will be over soon.
    Blessings,
    Michelle

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  14. I agree with everyone you and your dogs are safe and that is what matters!! As I anticipated he changed the locks. So sorry you did not receive much help from the police. I would not hesitate to file a complaint with someone in authority to let it be known how you were treated. It was probably end of their shift and they wanted to go home. Right now your only option is to seek legal recourse. Since he threatened you that should meet criteria for protective order. Also with the protective order if you have the order extended, I believe you will go before a judge and at that time he can be ordered to allow you to get your possessions. You can also file charges for him threatening you. Give security at your gated entrance a heads up about him and give them a picture of him. Make sure this info is shared with all shifts. Will continue to pray for you!!

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  15. Since the police won't help, maybe try enlisting some of HIS friends or family to come over during the move. He won't show his ass in front of them. The friends don't have to take sides or get involved. They just need to be witness/bystanders.

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  16. Today is a new day. When you call the law, call the sheriff this time. The sheriff's office handles evictions and warrants and they have better experience in these matters.
    I third what has already been advised- get an attorney pronto. Be safe, we're all pulling for you.

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  17. Good heavens. Does your new home have a security system? If not, I think you need it! Hang in there and God bless.

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  18. You are strong you will get through this awful situation. Make sure you have someone with you at all times. Do not interface with him alone. His behavior is extreme.Call the police today. Hopefully, you will get different people who are more reasonable and understand that threatening your life is criminal behavior. Please stay safe, strong, and take care of yourself and your pups. I am praying for you.

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  19. Thank goodness you and the dogs are fine!
    That was just shocking ..... big hugs and prayers !

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  20. Thinking of you today, sending prayers for your safety.

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  21. Oh My!! Know that your readers are thinking of you and wishing you the best during this trying time. Be safe.

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  22. Hire an attorney and press charges against him for assault and theft of property. Remember assault v is generally defined as intentionally putting another person in reasonable apprehension of an imminent harmful or offensive contact, which he has done and then some. Physical injury is not required. And you should probably throw in extortion once you get that letter you saw on the printer.

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  23. Thinking of you today, hope you have some support esp. from the LE as go through this one, final (hopefully) challenge of getting your stuff out.

    Safe travails, you are almost there.

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  24. Holy crap. Yes, get experienced legal counsel ASAP. Sending prayers and love.

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  25. I am so sorry! I can't imagine how frightening and upsetting this is! I dealt with a very aggressive, disturbed husband years ago who actually came into my home and stole much of my furniture while I was at church, when he knew I would be gone. I pray you will be safe and the police will do their job to protect you! You will soon be in your home and loving your life once again.

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  26. That s.o.b !!!please make sure he doesn't know where you are staying!
    Thank goodness you and pups are safe.

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  27. You know he has to be reading your blog! Unless you have been able to block him somehow? If not all the support you are getting I am sure is fueling his fire. Please take the advise of "Home before dark"! We are all here for you and if you need girl friend power I can be there within an hours drive.

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  28. I have never posted before...I am so sorry you are going through this. GG is your husband....soon to be ex I assume? I usually just look at your beautiful photos but I stopped and read your story. I live in Florida and I wish I could help you. I can't imagine your pain and suffering. Just know you have an army of people who support you - keep documenting what is going on. I wish I could say more...I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. My parents live in California - and if you need a safe place to stay...direct message me...they can help.

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  29. I am so relieved that you are safe and you were able to get your precious babies.I have been following your story and crying for you as well as me. I was a counselor and didn't "get it" IOW, being bullied for 53 years.He took all of my savings money and transferred everything to his name (unbeknownst to me)which shouldn't be allowed but I didn't receive any notices and he then died. I then found out that all of my lockers filled with my family heirlooms, antiques I collected when living in Europe and my family baby pictures, etc, he just stopped payment on so the lockers went to auction and I am left with nothing. I had wanted a divorce for years but he was controlling everything (even things such as the lockers I didn't know about) and I had no where to turn. I have friends but was to embarrassed to every tell them about my life. Why am I telling you this? It is because I really do understand what you are going through and I am here as your cheerleader,as well as many others,so stand tall and plunge ahead keeping yourself and your pups safe. Blessings....

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  30. OMG, I had no idea things had escalated to this! He threatened to kill you, and the police can't do anything?! That makes no sense to me. In California that would be considered domestic abuse, which is taken very seriously. I don't know if the house you are moving from is your house, or a rental. In either case, you may have to go through an eviction process. I don't know. You are the attorney, but you definitely need a lawyer. The reader who stated that the most dangerous time for the woman is when she tries to leave, is 100% CORRECT! Don't interact with him, definitely don't allow yourself to be alone with him, don't talk to him, and if he calls you on the phone, don't answer. That way he will have to leave a message, and you will have a recorded evidence of his behavior and intent. I'm so glad you and the dogs escaped safely.

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  31. Call up the chain at the PD. Ask to speak to the chief. Do everything you can. You can buy more underwear and furniture. Glad you have your life and your dogs.

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  32. Legal Lioness is so right and you must get an attorney immediately. And as a former social service professional I know that Step is correct that this is an incredibly dangerous time. Your life is at stake here and we all want you and your pups to be safe. Praying for all.

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  33. Have been following you for years, Beth, but I never leave comments. However, this post!! OMG. Sending you prayers and strength. But GG sounds like he has some mental issues. Please be careful and don't be alone near him.

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  34. This is a perfect example of how women are treated in domestic abuse situations - the cops do not do their job while women's lives are at risk. Call the police chief's office and request protection for tomorrow. Publish GG's name and phone number on the internet - he needs to be outed.

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  35. Oh Beth, I’m in tears as I read this, I am so sorry you have to endure such a horrible man when this should be so simple. And I can’t believe how terrible the police are being. Since when is threatening someone’s life a civil matter. Please, get some help with this matter and do not go over there without protection and support. I’m so thankful you and you puppies are safe but I know you have to be scared and rightfully so. He is obviously a psycho. I’m praying for you.

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  36. My first thought as I opened my eyes this morning was of you. I am sending more positive energy to help get you through today -- little step by little step. Be strong and take care of yourself. You do not deserve to be treated this way.

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  37. I would let the movers show up, let him deny them entry and then take it to court or move on without your things. You have a beautiful future ahead of you. Belongings can be replaced. Let him win this battle, move on and win the war.

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  38. Good Lord Beth, this is horrible. Thank goodness you and the pups are ok. Who legally owns the residence where your furniture is? So disappointed in those police officers, but you need to have police there for movers ... omg that is today. Praying hard for you. Please keep us updated.

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  39. Dear Beth,

    Please call the Police Chief and explain what you’re going through, tell her/him what the officers said to you during the last visit and request a female officer and for the previous officers not be dispatched again.

    Is your name on the mortgage or lease, if so, you have a right to be there and he is breaking the law, the police are there to protect your rights to gain entrance and get your things that belonged to you before the relationship. Anything purchased together can become a civil matter.

    Even if your name is not on anything, You still have a right to what belongs to you and to retrieve those things.

    Once the movers have all your things out of the house, walk through the house with an officer (preferably a female officer) and take photos as proof nothing was damaged during the process.

    Please be careful, you’re more valuable than your things. It would be hurtful and disappointing if you can’t get what belongs to you without a court order, or at all, but if that’s what it takes to stay safe, then please consider.

    Take care and wishing the very best.

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  40. I’m so sorry the police were not more helpful and sympathetic towards you Beth. They’ve obviously had no training in domestic violence situations, which is exactly what GG is perpetrating against you. Threatening your life & your puppies is not ok. Withholding your property is not either. You certainly deserve representation and defense from counsel familiar with dealing with bullies of GG’s ilk. In our county (Howard County, MD), the local domestic violence hotline refers women to lawyers with experience dealing with men such as GG, and also offers counseling. They helped me enormously to get out of my difficult situation years ago. Please hang in there and don’t take chances or go there alone - abusive men like him certainly do escalate when one leaves (at least mine did). Thinking of you and glad you and the puppies are safe in your new home.

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  41. Please please tread lightly in this situation. You need the law on your side. The movers can wait or be rescheduled. Homocides usually occur between people who know each other. The person you are dealing with is mentally unstable. I am a Dr and have witnessed situations turn from god to bad in seconds. The person may mentally snap and hurt you or themselves because they do not have the coping skills to do otherwise. As a woman do not think you can handle the situation alone tomorrow and you should not put yourself or the movers in harms way. Please take the advice of the legal lioness and get legal advice tonight or tomorrow but Do Not go there with movers without the law on your side. Nothing in that house cannot be replaced ... but your life is irreplaceable. Will pray for you.

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  42. As with all your posters, I'm praying for your safety and that this will pass. I second what so many others have said which is keeping as much distance between yourself and him and going up the chain of command in sheriff's office. Attitudes in law enforcement varies wildly as far as how they treat domestic violence. The vast majority of threats of violence are empty. I hope this is the last whimper of someone who has lost control and that he values his own freedom above exacting retribution. Please stay safe and sane.

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  43. One: get a good attorney.. Two: file a complaint against the officers.. their behavior was inexcusable.

    Stay safe.. Do not put your life in jeopardy again. Make sure you're protected. That man is nuts, pure and simple..I will say a prayer for your safety.

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    1. I don't know about policing in the US, I am from Australia, but here the way those police acted is inexcusable. This is a clear case of domestic violence and you needed support not ridicule. This sort of incident can very easily escalate, especially if the perpetrator senses any support from authority. Highly incompetent behaviour.

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  44. So sorry for you. I thought he was a bully who would cower. No, he is insane. Stay safe. Do whatever it takes to be safe. xo

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