Thursday, August 13, 2020

The New Moniker Revealed


I so appreciate all the ideas you submitted by comment and email for a new moniker for ex-boyfriend Golf Guy. For those of you who are new to CC, I decided Golf Guy is way too cutesy and benign a nickname for an abusive unhinged narcissist. I asked for submissions for a new nickname.

Ultimately, I decided I wanted to keep it clean and clever, and a follower had suggested some derogatory golf terms since his nickname is Golf Guy or GG. This led me down the rabbit hole of golf terms. I am not a golfer. You will recall that we ended up moving to Florida because of his desire to play golf every day.

I found the perfect one - Sandbagger. A sandbagger is the lowest of the low in golf - a hustler and a cheater. This describes him perfectly. To a t - or a tee - LOL. The term started with gangs on the streets, then poker, then made its way into golf vernacular. They are the scum of golf. The lowlifes. Everyone hates them. Absolutely perfect. (BTW his nickname at his condo in Alexandria, Virginia was the roach)

I have pasted this article below if you are interested.

"Sandbagger" as a golf term would make a little sense if it had something to do with sand bunkers. But it doesn't. In golf, a sandbagger is a nasty species of golf club vermin who lies about his true playing abilities, making himself seem worse than he is in order to gain advantage in tournaments or bets.

But why is "sandbagger" golfers' term for that? And how did it enter the golf lexicon?

Think Offensive Sand Bags, Not Defensive Ones
We all know what a sand bag is, but how did bags of sand enter the golf lexicon?

First, the word doesn't derive from the type of sand bags we're most familiar with. It's not the defensive sand bags (those used for flood control, lining foxholes, and so on) but the offensive sand bags that give us the golf word "sandbagger."

Gangs and street toughs of the 19th century used sand bags as a weapon of choice. Take a sock or small bag, fill it with sand, wrap it tightly, and wail away on someone (well, don't actually wail away on someone, but imagine that you are) and you'll see how effective a weapon a small sand bag can be.

Gang members used such weapons to intimidate their foes or average citizens. To threaten and bully the populace.

This original definition of sandbagger as a person who uses a sand bag as a weapon can still be found in many dictionaries; it's the first definition for the word in most older dictionaries.

'Sandbagger' Went Through Poker to Get to Golf
But the word didn't go directly from its gangland origins into golf; there was an intermediary step in its adoption by the sports world, and golf, to mean someone who misrepresents his ability to gain an advantage.

According to the website Word-Detective.com, that intermediary step was poker.

Say you're in a poker match and you're dealt a fantastic hand. If you place a huge bet right off the bat, you might scare most of your poker mates into folding. Instead, you might choose to bet small amounts, hoping to keep your opponents in the hand, increasing the pot, up until the moment you show your cards.

As Word-Detective.com puts it, the poker meaning:

"... described a player who held off raising the stakes in order to lull the other players into a false sense of security. The poker sandbagger would pounce late in the game, clobbering the other players with his good hand."
The poker player, in other words, misled his opponents about how good his hand was, until it was time to whip out the figurative "sand bag" and beat those same opponents with it.

Golf and gambling have always gone together, and the poker use of the term eventually allowed it to cross over into golf. "

-----Brent Kelley via liveaboutdotcom

A manipulator, a liar, a cheater, a hustler, a con artist, a bully - all fit him like a glove. So Golf Guy/GG is now Sandbagger. It fits him perfectly, both in golf and in life, and it is THE ultimate insult to a golfer.

I believe I scored.


41 comments:

  1. I am enjoying your blog now more than ever - it is layered and multi-dimensional, like life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perfection! As are the images. Hole in one for you, Beth!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are hysterical. This is absolutely spot on - Sandbagger. Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beth I have only been following you regularly for a few months. In the past I would hop on and off yours and other pages just to see what you ladies were up to in the design world. After you posted your private issues it hit a nerve with me like many others. I just wanted to let you know that I have decided to go to work with Turning Point (an agency here dedicated to helping women escape abusive situations; providing them and their children shelter, helping them to regain independence jobs, going to court with them counseling etc. Even a place called the Tree House were children who have been abused or witnessed it go for therapy and to give recorded testimony in a "safe" non threatening environment. Now I am not a counselor but my background was in music and interior design. I will be using my experience as a designer to develop a "showroom" of donated furniture. All the stores proceeds go to this mission. It is going to be my job to make the store beautiful and drive traffic to it.
    I start tomorrow and it is in part because of you and your story I even considered this position! I wish you all the best life has to offer! If you are ever in the Charlotte area come see us!
    And I am looking forward to all the new pics of your new home!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. I am so honored to have played any role at all in this. If there is anything I can do like a post featuring the store, please let me know. All the best to you.

      Delete
  5. Sandbagger is perfect! If you don't mind, I may use it when I refer to my ex-husband as well. In his divorce complaint back in 2006, he actually listed my unwillingness to learn to play golf with him as one of the many petty reasons he wanted a divorce. Hah! I got the last laugh, though. I moved from New Jersey to southwest Florida and bought a lovely home in a beautiful bundled golf community. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh and a trip down memory lane. I love your spunk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes please, use it in good health- LOL. He sounds like you know who. Congrats on your new life - living well is indeed the best revenge.

      Delete
  6. Perfect!! I too look forward to your post everyday, and I think interior designers have to be a little bit counselor too, and you may not realize it but you have helped many of us in many ways. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sandbagger is perfect! Great choice!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love it! It is perfect, as are the illustrations you chose. I was very worried for you in the days leading up to your move, just had an uneasy feeling. So glad you are safe and so happy in your beautiful new home. Love the new dimension you have added to your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks - it has been truly awful, but hopefully blue skies ahead.

      Delete
  9. Very apropos...
    One learns something here every day.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I believe you did score, an eagle!

    Did you have a social circle while you lived with the Sandbagger? Wouldn’t it be just too bad if his new moniker accidentally found its way back to the people who still tolerate him. Oops.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Definitely the perfect choice! Definition and illustrations are spot on and you scored a hole in one! You go girl and enjoy life in your beautiful new home with your darling pups!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you so much. He actually resembles the illustrations - hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Two thumbs up for the Sandbagger moniker! The pictures/graphics are a perfect depiction especially the wolf in sheep's clothing. As Nellie Forbush sang in "South Pacific".... you have washed that man right outta your hair!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that - one of my favorite musicals of all time. Thank you. "This Nearly Was Mine" is one of my favorite songs.

      Delete
    2. Oh yes to South Pacific and the lessons therein! In "You've Got To Be Taught," we realize so many things we were taught in formative years whether verbally or non-verbally, and how those careful instructions play out in our adult lives, including the [in my case] minimalization of how people treat/mistreat us by manifesting a sunny disposition no matter the circumstances.

      Delete
  14. Wow. Interesting that his nickname in Alexandria was "the roach". (How did you come to find that out? I can't see him telling you.) He's probably in a state of shock that he met his match in you. So happy you didn't give him a "mulligan", Beth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I spent most of my life in Alexandria and had friends in his building. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for too long.

      Delete
  15. "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
    I know it feels good and it's necessary vent and be heard. You got out of a bad situation with your sense of humor intact. The illustrations are spot on.

    Every moment you spend thinking about this loser is another moment you allow him to steal from you. His only satisfaction now is knowing he got inside your head. Be like the Lotus flower and bloom high above the mud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men have been telling women to be silent long enough. "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act." I intend to continue speaking out. I don't consider it anger but empowerment and refusing to be a victim. Sorry.

      Delete
    2. Amen Beth and thank you. You speak for many of us.

      Delete
    3. I was not suggesting silence and you certainly don't have to apologize. Speak your truth loud and clear. I've been in a similar situation and I know the abuser can continue to hurt you long after the abuse is over. I don't want this man to cause you another unhappy moment. I owe you an apology for misunderstanding your motivation. I don't want you to be quiet I want you to protect yourself. I may not express this well but I just want to know that you are OK.

      Delete
  16. I’m still worried about your physical safety. Do you feel safe? Do you have responsive friends nearby, and police you can trust?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I do, thanks for asking. I have been very proactive, but need to keep some it to myself.

      Delete
  17. I was trying to be a bit more nuanced.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sandbagger... can’t wait for his “golf buddies” to find out!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure they know he's a sandbagger already - LOL. No surprise to them.

      Delete
  19. Bingo!!! Perfect name..

    ReplyDelete