On Covid Shaming

I have not mentioned this on the blog much, but this whole move with the backdrop of Covid has of course made it even more stressful. I did everything in my power for four months to stay safe hunkering down in my home, but realized I was not safe there in any way shape or form because of GG. So house hunting, home inspection, closing, and home reno was stressful enough interacting with others in and out of my new home. But this past week, add to the mix dealing with six police officers, all sans masks, and movers, Comcast, and home security.

Then yesterday I decided to get my hair done and go to Costco since I actually have to eat and have no food here, and I get a nasty comment that I did not publish about how I am being irresponsible.

My hairdresser is a single mother of two. Her kids are going back to school because she has no financial option. She shared yesterday that a customer of hers responded very negatively that she will not be keeping her children home and the customer would not be returning. Wow.

Let me offer a few things from my perspective. We each need to choose how to live our lives in a socially responsible manner. I wear a mask 100% of the time I am in public. I wear a mask in my home if a worker is here. I have not been in a restaurant since March, nor a bar or movie theater. I grocery shop once a week and only at stores like Costco and Publix that require masks, sanitize carts, etc. etc. When I meet neighbors here, we have been outdoors and 15 or 20 feet apart. The Happy Hours here are in a driveway outdoors with chairs 6 feet apart.

BUT, I choose to go to HomeGoods one time a week and I wear a mask. I get my hair done once a month - my stylist has left her salon with other stylists and has her own place and we are the only people there and we are both masked. And at my nail salon everyone has masks, gloves, and there are plexiglass dividers. It is a huge space, and they space appointments far apart and I am usually the only customer. I need this self care for myself and I am supporting two small businesses of people I care about, each with young kids to support.

This pandemic is not going away IMHO. This will be our lives for a very very long time. Each of us has to make decisions for ourselves and our families about how to live. If my leaving my house a handful of times a month for non critical things offends you, so be it. I have ZERO health problems, I wear a mask in public always, and have hand sanitizer everywhere that I use all the time. Stop trying to shame me and for God's sake not folks like my hair stylist who is the sole support for her family. It would not be safe for her family if the kids were home schooled but they we are homeless and hungry either.

Well, I got that off my chest. I think each of us has to decide what is right for us. I do not mean this to include not wearing masks and pretending this does not exist. But I think this is a balancing act. I have a friend back in NOVA who is a divorced single older guy. He has not seen his children or grandchildren, he has all his groceries delivered, he only goes out for walks at night. And he is a very social person. IMHO he will be physically ok but not mentally. But as I said, let's try to support the path each of us chooses to navigate these insane times we live in, provided we are being socially responsible with masks and social distancing. This is not school. There is not only one right answer.

Breathing Again

White Wicker S Chairs

Today was such a nice day. I had my hair done and my stylist has become a personal friend and it is always such fun seeing her. I made a Costco run and they restocked on the Pho that I am literally addicted to. I bought 8 boxes. Met new neighbors - including two gorgeous Afghans with their owners. This neighborhood is VERY dog friendly.

Tomorrow the puppies are getting groomed and I am having a pedicure and manicure and then going to a Happy Hour a few doors up the street.

GG texted me jut now blaming me for his house looking like crap. 90% of the furnishings were mine, and apparently in his mind I was supposed to just walk away. It occurred to me he thought he could keep the dogs and furniture and decor and art.

To those worried about me, I am sleeping and eating and trying to return to normalcy. Normal seems weird I have been living in such a pressure cooker altered universe with GG.

I never made it to HG today, perhaps tomorrow. I am enjoying a lovely glass of wine on my lanai with so many sounds from the preserves.

These white wicker S chairs arrived today. For entertaining, I can mix them with my white Chinese Chippendale chairs with the Williams Sonoma Home Mercer table. They have a beachy mid century vibe I just love.

So, if you recall, I am using the extra large Mercer table styled with coffee table books and blue and white ginger jars and such like a library table for everyday use. For rare larger dinner parties, I will grab the Chinese Chippendale chairs from the breakfast room and the S chairs will be at the head and foot of the table.

My Chinese Chippendale dining chairs from Charlotte & Ivy

Williams Sonoma Home Mercer Table - still awaiting delivery

On Vacuums and Life

Dyson V7 Motorhead Fuschia

What a difference a day makes. I have been in my house officially for 24 little hours and it feels like home. I was in the other house for 9 months and it never ever felt like home for one minute. I have high speed Internet, I have TV, and I have a brand new security system with cameras in a gated community with great security guards. I have already made great strides in the house with most rooms looking pretty wonderful. I am in love with this house. I always loved the title of Bunny Williams' book An Affair With a House.

I am waiting on starting to hang art for a couple of weeks. My one and only phobia in interior decorating is hanging artwork. For two of the One Room Challenges, I hired the owner of an art gallery in Alexandria, Virginia who hangs art in people's homes to hang all of my pieces - one was very large and another was a set of six, both of which I was nervous about doing myself. I would love to hire someone for a few hours to come over and put everything up for me. Do any of my local followers have a recommendation?

I mentioned ordering the pink Dyson cordless stick vacuum for this house. This review is "An Affair With a Vacuum." It is pink. So so cute. It is light as a feather. It has no cord. It has excellent suction. It goes 30 minutes on a charge - I can do this entire house in 10. I am very very visual. I can't stand ugliness. Even my cleaning tools are works of art to me. Here they are hanging in my old laundry room.

I think this vacuum visually is a little work of art and functionally fantastic. And remember I have two long haired dogs. I highly recommend it.

It's one reason I have always had Apple products - gorgeous form and great function. I still have my raspberry pink IMac.

I came across this old post of mine on Pineapple Monograms. aren't these fun?

So "Florida" style, I think.

I am taking the day off tomorrow - I have not had a day off in weeks. On tap is HomeGoods - the manger has probably already sent out a search party looking for me. And seeing my friend and hairdresser for a cut, color, and blow-dry.

On a somber note, I am incredibly saddened by the number of emails and comments I have received from other survivors of domestic abuse who are followers of CC. Covid is not the only pandemic out there, I'm afraid. I think many women suffer in silence and I think many others who speak out seeking justice face a system that falls so far short of what it should be. I hope when the dust settles I can find a way to use my legal background and personal journey to help other women.

Thankful

I don't know where to start except to say that I decided last night that today was my opportunity to get this done. I researched Florida law and changing the locks is illegal under these circumstances as is withholding my belongings as is threatening me. I also ascertained definitively that I could use any reasonable means to gain entry into my residence.

When the movers arrived at 8 AM - I waited around the corner until their arrival, I rang the bell and knocked at the door and he would not let us in. I called 911 and two officers arrived who were very sensitive to the situation. They attempted to speak with him to no avail. To make a long story short, 5' 3" Beth in her dress kicked in the double French doors and invited the two officers into my residence. He tried to deny them entry and I explained to GG that I lived in the house and had invited them in. Speechless!

GG was shocked. He accused me of breaking and entering and they explained that what I did was 100% legal. And they told him that children have better behavior. A third officer arrived and read him the riot act as well. The movers were able to complete everything.

The police yesterday empowered his nonsense. They let him be in charge because they were pro male, insensitive macho men. The officers today did not enable him and it was very different. I am not suggesting this approach for anyone else but me. Protective orders IMHO are not worth anything and just serve to enrage already angry men. And the justice system in this country is not a panacea. I assessed the situation and with the presence of police officers, I had confidence in a good outcome. He is basically a bully. And sometimes you have to stand up to bullies.

I feel good that I did, but please don't use me as example and get hurt. I have been walking on eggshells for a long time with this narcissistic bully and I am a lawyer. I was married to a lawyer for 35 years. I "discussed" the law with the officers on evictions, changing of locks, theft of property, extortion, and threats of violence. A refresher course never does any harm. I was in the presence of the police and/or movers at all times today.

 I am in my gold leaf pagoda bed all beautifully made - as exhausted as I am, I wanted just my bed perfect tonight. I am sipping a lovely glass of Champagne, cuddling with the pups, and very thankful for all of it. I am on high alert though, trust me.

Hopefully now we can start doing some interior design posts. Such as, my reviews of Simplisafe and my new cordless Dyson. The handyman is here next week installing all the new lighting and the bathroom sinks and faucets. The countertops are gorgeous - pictures soon.

A new dawn, a new day, hopefully a new and happy life.